I recently met a girl who likes 90% of the same things I do ,from video games to music ,movies and even anime. But as much as I love her and want to be with her ,we both live half the world away from each other and the whole long distance relationship thing is killing us if it already hasn't. It is going to take months of saving my salaries to even afford a plane ticket to her let alone get clearance due to the state of the world today.I know there is no one else in this or any world that I can truly be happy with. Hell I have been alone and sad soo long. Then she came along and made me so happy I forgot everything that made me even feel lonely or sad. All my negative feelings just vanished and I could only smile from ear to ear. A smile so big and broad even the joker would ask wtf I am so happy about! So in my effort to prove my affections from half the world away I made the commitment to never lie to her ,everything would be the truth even if it was something bad I would prefer to say it now than have her feel betrayed some time later when she finds out. And somehow telling the truth is now the reason our love it hanging by a hair. I am beginning to think I will always be the personification of "Good guys always finish last". But I can't imagine a life without her so I decided I will work as hard as I can to get my ass on a plane to her and ask for her hand in marriage. Wish me luck guys ,even though it will take some time to get there I WILL GET THERE!

I MET AND FELL IN LOVE WITH AN ANGEL
Stuck in this hell ,this body without a heart. The love I wished for was nothing more than a dream for years. I fell in love once ,or so I thought ,only to discover what she really wanted was not me. I gave things I held dear to show how much I cared. Only to have my heart broken for the first time. Time went by ,a friend said to try again ,that not everyone is evil ,not every girl can be so mean. So years later I tried again ,she was a strong woman ,worked hard for the things she wanted to own. So I thought this was not like the one who only wanted for my things. But alas ,she did not love me just like before. All she saw in me was a shiny new toy. A puppet on strings who did all that she willed. Only to have my heart broken a second when I was left alone by someone else again. That friend came back one last time ,said the world is filled with wicked hearts but also with kind souls. Do not give up hope because no one understands you ,there is someone out there hoping to find you. I did not listen ,I shut myself and my heart away from others. I tried to be a good person but alas I was still a fool even to my mother. I was told one day that the only friend I had died in a car accident on their way home from work and a friend of theirs who I just began to know said not to forget their last words to me. It has been eight years since. I believed my heart had died ,because no one I talked to understood me ,no one I met loved me. All I ever wanted was for someone to love and accept me but it only made me hurt more and more. Nights I spent crying until I feel into sleep ,some people count money others count sheep. I spent eight years crying until my tears ran dry. Then I broke ,all I saw was the lie one my face ,a big stupid smile. I smiled at everyone to pretend I was fine ,while dead inside. One day I made up my mind ,clearly my heart cannot find love here. I will travel the world to the places I wish to see like Japan ,Italy and Germany. Perhaps there in one of those places I can find peace. Then the year 2020 came around. Everything started to go wrong ,none of my plans came to be ,my life became even more meaningless to me. I still tried to be a good person to anyone who needed me but no one saw the one who needed help was really me. In 2021 nothing went my way but I did make amends with an old friend but still I cried every night because no matter what I did ,no matter how much I begged and prayed. No one loved me. Things only got worse as the days went by ,problems upon problems and my efforts seems pointless. I had given up on life at this point. I would leave home and go the only place I ever felt happy. The beach. I would swim as far and as fast as I can and never look back ,keep swimming until I was lost at sea ,perhaps maybe then I could find peace. But on the fourth of April 2021. As I scrolled down my homepage. I glimpse a picture of someone. She was beautiful ,but what had my attention were her eyes. They shone like gems in the night sky but as I looked on I saw pain and sadness. Almost like an Angel crying in pain but no one said anything. I decided to say “Hi” though I admit. I thought to myself “girls as pretty as this don’t have interest in guys like me ,I’m boring and ugly she won’t even reply”. But she did ,we talked about everything ,we like the same music ,video games ,anime even some movies. I fell in love again but I was afraid to say anything because I doubt she could ever love me. But I said it ,to my surprise she said she loved me too. I felt happy ,smiled for the first time in years I had a sincere smile and those around me knew it was real. I doubted my good fortune ,felt like I won a Billion dollars. I found someone like me and she loves me. I almost cried I was so happy ,I thought my tears had run dry. How am I this blessed to have found you? I asked everyday ,is this a dream ,some kind of fairy tail that has come true. This has to be a miracle! She is all I ever wanted ,an Angel in human form. I saw myself in her eyes ,someone who just wanted to love and feel loved in return but alas has only been hurt. As we talked more and more ,days gone I forgot the world and the pain it brought me, because with her all I can feel is happy. I decided ,I need to leave this country as soon as I can to be with her. I don’t care where I have to go as long as she is there. My happiness is with you and no one else. I understand your past causes you to doubt me ,you may not know if you can trust me yet but I vow to prove it even if it means my death. Because I love you ,everyday for the past few weeks has been a dream come true. Just talking to you makes me happy and your voice alone sends shivers up my spine. I will never betray you ,I will not give up until you say you don’t love me.
You are the Angel of my dreams. I will come to you with nothing but my love and if you find me worthy of your love I hope we can be a family. I fell in love with you so hard because you made me feel special and loved when everyone around me just used me. I want to spend to rest of my self making you happy ,but only if you will have. If you say you don't love me then destiny has betrayed me. Has fate put a curse between us or am I just what all the other girls say to me "Useless ,stupid and ugly nobody". I have a small future here but I would trade it all away for a life with you. I am yours and yours alone and that will never change because I truly believe that you are my soulmate. I want to be the best man I can be to better serve and love you because seni seviyorum. Forever and Always.